Sunshine state can go where the sun don’t shine

ReAnne Utemark

Dear Florida, we thought you were finished screwing up elections.

I mean, I realize that it was not really your fault when the voting machines malfunctioned and ballots were lost and destroyed. It wasn’t really your fault when Al Gore called for a recount in 2000 and thus made you the butt of many jokes both on the late-night talk shows and in water cooler conversation. I don’t blame you for any of that.

I do, however, blame Florida for perpetuating this ridiculously early presidential election.

Apparently, Florida did not want to share the spotlight on “Super Tuesday,” when several states hold their primaries. After, of course, they’ve waited their turn.

Florida has set its primary date for Jan. 29. In an Los Angeles Times article, the Democratic party chairwoman, Karen Thurman, is managing to blame the Republicans. Somehow, the Republicans managed to force the vote for an earlier primary. The earlier primary has already begun a domino effect of pushing everyone else’s primary forward. Thus this puts the squeeze on Iowa, which always gets the first dance at the party. Iowa could move its primary to New Year’s Day or even in late December.

…And auld lang syne, when primaries were at a proper time.

I feel the need to explain to everyone that yes, it is indeed a race, but candidates cannot actually get to the finish line yet.

In the same LA Times article, one Democrat asked for mercy, rather than judgment. Fair enough, but then they took a hard-line stance against backing down from their early date in an ABC News article. Good call, Florida Dems, I am not going to say that you guys are necessarily in the dumbest state in the Union, but you are definitely in the running for the gold at the Twit Olympics.

A friend of mine recently commented that the candidates are talking a lot, but they are not saying anything. I find this to be painfully true.

Candidates want to get their smiling faces out there to kiss babies, but it does not seem like they want to tell us what they want to do if they are elected president. Barack Obama was on “The Daily Show” and all he did was talk about being in the presidential race and the other candidates. Not about actual policy.

Despite there being an plethora amount of pre-season debates, I don’t know much other than what these politicians have done in the past. These debates are of like pre-season football games, they are fun to watch, but don’t mean much other than you get an idea of who will be out on the field.

I agree with the rules committee. I do not think it is too harsh to threaten to take Florida’s primary votes away. This presidential election overload is going to do more harm than good. Candidates are going to run out of momentum and money.

Voters are going to run out of interest, which is an entirely petrifying thought.