BOD MAG: Decoding Dating Language

Ali Dade

Undoubtedly, one of the trickiest things about being a young person is dating people and being in relationships. Within this tricky world of dating, one of the hardest things to overcome is the “dating language”. Frequently, we will become confused by certain things the person we’re dating says or does.

If he says he’ll text you or call you and then doesn’t –

What this really means is: He probably feels like he has more important things to do. This is definitely nothing personal against you, even though you may feel like it is. If someone that texts or calls you every day is important to you, make sure he knows that. If he can’t give that to you, find someone else.

If he cancels your plans at the last minute –

What this really means is: Of course there are exceptions to this, like if an emergency happens, but generally if he cancels plan after plan after plan, he’s just not interested. Don’t make someone a priority, when to you they’re just a choice.

If he doesn’t initiate the first move –

What this really means is: He’s probably just nervous! Don’t’ be afraid to make the first move.

If he says he likes you, but that he’s not looking for a relationship –

What this really means is: This typically just means he wants a purely physical relationship, which is perfectly fine and normal, especially for people our age. But if that’s not what you want, tell him. Don’t think that you can just change his mind about the matter, generally this will just lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

If she dodges your first move –

What this really means is: If you go in for that first kiss and she moves away, don’t keep trying! She obviously doesn’t want you to do that, so leave it alone.

If she just looks at her phone all night –

What this really means is: This is a tricky one. This one could mean she’s uninterested, or it could mean she’s just nervous and isn’t sure what to do in this situation. To combat this, make sure you’re attempting to keep her interested, ask her about herself and her day. If she still seems uninterested now, she probably is.

If she only wants to hang out with you in a group setting –

What this really means is: She is probably nervous around you, so don’t be offended if she invites you to come along with her and her friends somewhere. Give it some time and see if she shakes off enough of those nerves to hang out alone

If she only wants to hang out at certain places –

What this really means is: She only wants to hang out at her place, or yours, never go out for dinner or drinks, she might not be the serious relationship you’re looking for. Don’t take it personally. Just go find someone else who does.

I’ve heard since I was young that communication is the key to a lasting relationship. This is extremely true. Your partner can’t read minds, just like you can’t. If you don’t like something or expect something from them, make sure you make it known!