Alice sat in her kitchen with her sister Millie one late September afternoon in 1953. The mid-day sun leaked in through the windows as they sipped on their tea. They chatted about the mundane things in their lives. They played cards and laughed together. In a mere second, Millie’s teacup slipped through her fingers and shattered on the spotless linoleum floor. Millie was horrified and jumped up to clean her mess. She was struck with enormous guilt. Alice told her not to worry about it.
“But, I’ve ruined your whole set!” Millie argued, tears welling in her eyes. Alice then let her own teacup fall to the ground, breaking it in solidarity with her sister.
“I never liked that set anyway,” Alice said.
Alice made an important decision at that moment. She decided she was more interested in preserving her sister’s feelings than preserving a teacup. As her great-granddaughter, I’m so grateful that instead of inheriting a dish, I inherited that story. The greatest heirlooms you can pass down are not items. They are lessons learned, morals, persistence, kindness and compassion. The values and character traits passed down from generation to generation are the real treasures.
I grew up in a house with a lot of family heirlooms. My great-grandmother’s Norwegian spice box hung in the kitchen. I slept underneath a handmade quilt that belonged to my great-great grandfather when he was a little boy. In my bedroom, there hung a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus that my dad inherited after his grandfather’s death.
All of these items illustrated both sides of my family’s rich cultural history and background. They were important to me as a child, and still are to this day.
My dad’s strong Cajun ethnicity felt more powerful to me when looking at the items he had inherited from his grandparents. The religious statues and pictures served as steady reminders that my ancestors had clung strongly to their Catholic faith even though it was the very same faith that caused them to be annexed from France.
My mom’s Norwegian heritage was easy for me to embrace when I was huddled underneath the same blanket my great-great grandfather slept under on his ship from Norway to America.
All of these people persevered and created new lives not only for themselves but for me. I can only imagine the things they went through to make a home for themselves in this country. Yet, they succeeded. These items, no matter how small, are a way for me to connect with them, as I carve out my own future and set my own path forward.
The funny thing is though, at the end of the day, these items were the least important parts of my ancestors.
The religious pictures and statues might be beautiful, but what really got passed down to me was their faith.
The spice box might be nice kitchen decor, but the things my great-grandmother really passed down were her recipes and love of feeding her family.
The handmade quilt might be warm on a long winter’s night, but what was really passed down was the determination to persevere; even if you’re in an unfamiliar environment.
The things we own in this life don’t define us. That doesn’t mean all things are evil or we can’t have belongings. It just means that we need to choose carefully what we possess, so that it may never possess us.
I enjoy my family heirlooms and appreciate the rich history behind each item, but what I have really come to treasure is that I come from good, hard working, honest people and it’s important that I honor their legacy. Not by preserving fine china or clothes, but by being a good, hardworking, honest person myself.
The most treasured items in my possession are not statues, sweaters or quilts. They aren’t even items at all, they are the dreams and hopes, lessons learned and attitudes that have been passed down from ancestors I have never even met.
People might strive to give their children a big house to grow up in, nice cars to drive or cool clothes to wear, and there is nothing bad about any of that, but the things that children can really put to use throughout their entire lives are free for you to give them. Solid morals, compassion, kindness and your time are all things that they will appreciate and care for that will never get eaten by moths, broken in the dishwasher or sold to the highest bidder.
My children might inherit the Bible I received for my high school graduation, and they might get my favorite books filled with pen markings in the margins. But what I really hope I can pass on to them is my dad’s kind heart, my mom’s compassion and the hard-working grit that resides in every member of my bloodline. None of that is for sale.
Edited by Morgan Albrecht and Stuti Khadka
