Friend Fatima: Is age an issue?

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Q: I just found out one of my guy friends likes me. He’s a great guy and everything but he’s much younger than I am. I wouldn’t mind dating him, but I don’t know what to feel about the age difference. 

A: In my opinion, age really is just a number, to an extent of course. We can’t choose who we fall for, it just happens. So why deny yourself a chance at being happy over something as silly as an age?

In my experience, younger guys have been more ambitious than older guys. I mean, think about it. This guy clearly knows your age difference and has probably been weighing the pros and cons leading up to his confession to you. He probably talked himself out of it a hundred times before realizing something like that has no measurable amount when it comes to being happy. So he finally went for it.  

The truth is, love cannot be measured. So why try and put a measure on it? When it comes to being happy and in love, age isn’t something we should be wasting time on. 

What we should be questioning is their personality. Everyone always says how looks don’t matter as much as personality. That is exactly what age feels like to me, a look. It is an appearance that we judge on so many different levels when all that truly matters is how they are as a person. 

If he is a great guy, then why deny yourself a chance at being in an amazing relationship? I can understand that you might fear the fact that he won’t take the relationship as serious as you because you are older. Believe me; I’ve been there, done that. Just make sure to let him know what you want out of the relationship. That way he knows what to expect and he’s not caught off guard. 

Give him a fair shot of proving that he is just as good as any other guy who might be closer to your age. People vary depending on what they have been through, not how long they have been doing it. If he is driven and wants to make you a more serious part of his life, that just shows you he’s mature enough to go after what he wants. A bold statement does really go a long way.   

Don’t be afraid of giving him a chance because you don’t know how his age will match up to yours. Give him a chance to make you happy because you never know what will happen. 

Let’s face it: we all get hurt. What truly defines us is how we choose to pick ourselves back up again. Take a chance on something you already know you want. He already has. You can always fix a mess, but you can’t fix a moment. 

Don’t be the person who constantly wanders “what if?” Be the person who knows you took a chance and whatever happens in the end, you’re not going crazy wondering. Seriously, what do you honestly have to lose?