Editor’s note: While flipping through the 1986-1987 Washburn Review newspapers, I noticed a lot of very interesting hairstyles and stories. It was a completely different time and that will become very evident as you read this article about Halloween costumes. Many of the references made in this article went right over my head but perhaps some of you that read this will get a good laugh out of it. It is absolutely worth the read. 

Washburn Review

10-10-86: Dress hip for Halloween fun

Gimme Noise with Dr. Nightcall

Editor-In-Chief: David Barry

Halloween will be here sooner than you think, and now is the time to plan those great costumes and characters for the holiday. As both a caring columnist and a good doctor, it is my duty to now present “A Critics Guide to a Hip Halloween.”

First of all, be original. Don’t be like every other sap by portraying a cheerleader or football player or something equally as mundane. “But doctor,” you plead, “it’s sooo hard to think of good characters.” Well, fear not my dear patients, the doctor has some suggestions. 

You could portray your favorite host or co-host of “Solid Gold,” or your favorite “Cosby” child. If you television viewers really want to be cool, try dressing up as your favorite TV evangelist. Wear a very expensive suit, drive a limo around, and then slander and profane all of your college mates who read smut written by Mark Twain or watch pornography like the “CBS Evening News.”

Speaking of pornography, Halloween has long needed some erotic spice to liven it up. Perhaps you can help by dressing up (or un-dressing up) as the porno star you most admire. That would be fun, and certainly would be a fine conversation piece at all the Halloween parties you attend.

Many people go out in couples, either dressing alike, or in dynamic duo like Batman and Robin. Hey – how about going out as Pat Sajak and Vanna White? Or you could both go as William “The Refridgerator” Perry. (Good team-work is essential for that one). For you “Moonlighting” fans, try matching the classy looks and witty banter of CybillSheppard and “Mr. Seagrams” Bruce Willis.

Grab your whole family and go our as “The Jetsons.” Better yet, bring back the memories of the Osmonds.

For you intellectuals, stage a mock debate between someone dressed as Pee Wee Herman and someone else decked out in their best Max Headroom attire. I can almost hear it now. P. W. H.: “I know you are, but what am I?” M.H.: “Ggggggggggrow up dunderhead! And drink Ccccccoke . . .” To keep the proceeding fair, add “Saturday Night Live’s” Tommy Flanaigan as moderator. Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket . . . 

For those of you who are like me, you’ll want to go as your favorite dead rock star. Just a warning though girls – I saw a few too many Mamma Cass’ last year, so you might avoid choosing her. If you don’t have a favorite that’s dead, try out a character from your favorite song.

Girls, I would love to see Roxanne (The Police) this year, or maybe Lola (the Kinks). Actually, Lola is a man – so there you guys.

The Beatles offer endless characters. Elanor Rigby, Sgt. Pepper, or Nowhere Man are naturals. How about a Daytripper or Lady Madonna? (No, not that Madonna). My pick would be either “I am the Eggman” or “I am the Walrus.”

When you are out on Halloween night, look for Ruby Tuesday (the Stones) or Wendy (from every pre”Born in the USA” album that Springsteen released). Prince fans can look for Darling Nikki (ooh-la-la) or even a creative Little Red Corvette.

Of all rock artists, Bob Dylan offers the longest list of fascinating characters. Pick up one of his albums from the mid-60’s and choose one of the hundreds of seedy inhabitants in his lyrics.

Above all, have fun. Be creative and try to stump your friends. They may have to ask, but when you tell them, they’ll love it. 

Oh yes, I’m going to go as “The Man with the Lightbulb Head” from the song by British weirdo, Robin Hitchcock. At least you’ll be able to see me coming . . .