At a table in Stauffer Commons with six girls:

“I’m gonna go party with the girls because none of us have a date,” said Chelsea Seel, sophomore nursing major.

The only guy at the table, Sam Tossie, junior human services major:

“I’m not doing anything for Valentine’s day because if I took someone out it would cost me money.”

You’d have to beat the women off this guy with a stick. But, wait, he gets even more charming:

“Not these girls, though, they’re cheap. Get them a bottle of vodka and they’re happy.”

The table of women erupts in laughter and protest.

Vodka + cheap date = love.

In an auditorium-style classroom in Stoffer Science Hall, Brian Smith, junior social work major, text-messages his wife during class break.

“After I get out of class [on Valentine’s Day] I’m going to take her to a nice restaurant.”

Which nice restaurant?

“Depends on what we’re in the mood for,” said Smith. “I’ll rephrase that: It depends on what my wife is in the mood for.”

Love is about making sacrifices.

In a classroom in Garvey before the start of art history:

“My boyfriend and I are broke,” said Haley O’Neil, sophomore secondary education major. “We’ll probably get into something low-budget or spend the last of the little money we have.”

Love ain’t cheap.

At the start of Historical Geology class, Stephen Mitchell, sophomore philosophy and French major, is thinking about his girlfriend’s mom.

“Well, [my girlfriend and I] might take our moms out to eat [on Valentine’s Day]. We want our moms to be friends.”

How…romantic.