Q: My assistant manager is really cute but he is the quiet, brooding type. How do I get him to notice me without being too obvious?
A: Getting someone to notice you is always tricky, especially when they are the “shy oblivious” type. The first thing you should do is to ask yourself if he is really your type? I understand he is cute, we’ve all been there, but if you have to work extremely hard to get someone’s attention then you should ask yourself if he is really worth it.
You want someone who wants you just as much as you want them. But then again, if he is the shy type he probably doesn’t know how to approach you and actually might be interested in you.
Odds are he is probably one of those guys who fears being rejected so he never steps out of his bubble so he can never get hurt. The best way to handle that is to give him clues that let him know you are interested. Casually say hi and ask him how his day was. This shows him that you are caring and friendly. From there you can work your way up to deeper conversation and eventually hanging out outside of work.
If you feel uncomfortable and weird asking him to hang out plan a co-worker get together so it doesn’t feel like you are taking huge steps. By doing this, you are giving him the opportunity to see you in a casual more flirty appropriate setting. Plus, if he is shy and goes that shows how much he enjoys talking with you at work because he is stepping out of his comfort zone for you.
Baby steps are always a good way to approach a shy guy. It will be a casual relationship builder and he won’t feel as if it’s too much too fast. By showing him the friendly side of you he will eventually open up and realize that you like him too and it’s okay to ask you out.
Humans by nature are afraid of rejection. If he starts feeling like you and him have a good thing he will feel comfortable and confident enough to ask you out. You just have to have patience and be understanding. He’ll eventually get there with some of your unobvious help. Relationships aren’t built overnight for good reason.
Of course, he could also be reluctant to start anything because he is your assistant manager. Work relationships are sometimes sticky and he probably doesn’t want that type of work atmosphere. Just look for signs when you flirt with him and be cautious of how he acts. Don’t take it personal if he doesn’t want to be anything more than friends because you work together. There truly are plenty of fish in the sea and I’m sure you’ll find someone who isn’t your boss or co-worker somewhere along the line.