Friend Fatima: Relationship choice

Q: I’ve been in a decent, loving relationship for a while now but I’ve started having feelings for another guy who I am friends with. I hang out with my guy friend a lot and he is so sweet to me. He told me he liked me one day but doesn’t want to ruin my relationship if I’m happy. I care about them both so much and can see myself with either one. Is it possible to love more than one person?

A: Simply put, yes. It is possible to love more than person. People have different qualities and sometimes it is hard to pick which ones you want in a person because, unfortunaty, you can’t have it all.

I don’t know which guy you have known longer but it sounds like they both respect you, which is important in any relationship. You want a guy who will treat you with respect and love. The bad side of that is that makes it much harder for you to say you like one guy over the other. If this was a perfect love movie one of them would be a super douche, making it easier for you to decide which one you want. But life isn’t a movie and things aren’t always perfect. It may be that you never pick between either one of them and you end up with someone entirely different later down the road. Who knows where life will take you.

All I can say is if you are happy in your relationship then why question it? There’s obviously a reason you ended up with your boyfriend before your guy friend. But on the other hand I feel like if you were truly happy in your relationship you wouldn’t be searching for feelings in someone else. Your relationship should leave you satisfied and aware of those friend/emotional boundaries.

I can’t tell you who to pick or who to love. All I can tell you is that there is no shame in loving more than one person. With so many people in our lives supporting and loving us it’s hard not to have those feelings sometimes. All you should focus on is being happy and if your guy friend gives you that then by all means be with him. But don’t lead both of them on, it’s not fair to either one. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you’re feeling. He may be able to help with your decision because he’s the only other person who truly knows what goes on between you two.