Friend Fatima: Friends

Q: My best friend and I have been close for over 10 years. He has been my right-hand man through thick and thin whenever and for whatever. Lately, though, he has been really distant and I feel like he has changed. He is going out more and getting drunk and not really acting like himself all of a sudden. It’s hard watching him go through a life that he has never wanted and miss out on beneficial opportunities.

A: People come and go in your life whether you want them to or not. It’s only difficult because he has been with you so long and through so much. Sometimes no matter what we want, people have to just find themselves. As much as you try to help them or change them you won’t be able to. You have to let people realize that they are making a mistake on their own.

Just because you think he is not living a life he hasn’t lived before doesn’t mean he isn’t living a life he wants to live. He may just want to be exploring a different aspect of life. It may not meet your standards but it could meet his. Don’t be so quick to judge. If he has been your friend for so long just support him and encourage him. If your friendship is really that strong he will realize that you are important and your friendship will keep him afloat if his life truly isn’t going where he wants it to.

People change everyday. Don’t think that because you have been close for so long that it can’t happen to you too. If you can’t be the person who stands by his side and helps him when he needs it then it’s time you realize you need to find someone who will grow your friendship in a similar path. A path that you are comfortable traveling as well.

I know it may be a sad thing to realize you and your best friend of 10 years aren’t who you wanted to be, but sometimes you gotta leave the past behind and move on. Who knows? You may find yourselves years from now meeting randomly and reconnecting. You never know what life will bring to you. Good or bad, life always has a mysterious way of putting you on the path you belong on; regardless of who you think should be on it with you.