A Societal Standout: Kansas

This week we would like to recognize a societal standout that needs no introduction. ‘

This one, ladies and gentlemen, is big. In fact, it’s as big as you think.

Hello, Kansas.

Look at you, sitting there in the middle of the country with your wide-open plains and amber waves of genetically-modified grains. Reaching the stars through difficulty while the rest of the world lies over your skies without a second glance. Have you ever thought about why those planes don’t land here? Have you, Kansas?

Is it the weather? You’re hot, you’re cold. It’s raining, it’s thunder-snowing. Is that the tornado siren I hear? Nevermind, it’s sunny again.

Maybe it has something to do with your budget-butchering and regressive tax plan. Or perhaps the fact that you seem more concerned with the sexual orientation of your state employees than you are their civil rights, a move that undoubtedly pleased members of a certain, infamous church located within your borders, factors into the equation.

What about the 293 public school districts whose heads you’ve thrust under the guillotine while your governor grins behind his executioner’s mask?

Speaking of your governor…

What in the hell was going through your collective minds when you checked the box next to his name on the ballot? Here’s a guy, who is so Republican, he pisses off other Republicans! You’re already wearing a bright red blazer. Did you really need to highlight those hues with buckets of blood?

No wonder you’ve become ready-made fodder for comedians turned political commentators and ranting college newspaper editors (hi there…).

In all seriousness, I really do love you, Kansas. I was born and raised in you and, for the most part, have enjoyed my time here. But you really need to get your act together before your soil is as tarnished as your current reputation.

How many of those young, open-minded and forward-thinking leaders and innovators of tomorrow do you have to chase off before you’re left with little more than a broken down tractor in the middle of an over-tilled field?