My name is John Lincoln (assigned pseudonym) and I came to Washburn University in the fall of 2012 after transferring from Johnson County Community College. The one major thing I have made here at Washburn is a small group of close friends. I have never really had any close group of friends. From high school, we graduated and friends went to different schools and I came to Washburn University. I didn’t get the freshman experience at all and to top it all off, I came here with a girlfriend, I got involved in organizations, I also got involved sexually with a lot of women and created a horrible reputation for myself. I was so screwed up inside from my previous relationship that I began to use people. I played women, told them what they wanted to hear, lied to my friends, I was, maybe am a narcissist. I blame all my issues on other people, I have no idea how to help myself but I can’t find myself to ask for help or guidance. My life has been a spiral downward until I met a very wonderful woman that involuntarily tried to help pull me out of the mess I was. I cheated because of my own insecurities and refused to be loved. I wanted to be cared for and loved so bad, but I couldn’t let my heart be hurt like it was from the 3 and a half year relationship before. I knew I loved this woman, but I was not good enough for her nor was I ready for someone to come into my life and reach into my soul and love me like she did. I did not know that a love like this existed. She made me want to be a better person. I turned around and cheated on her multiple times to distract or trick myself from loving her. But I wanted to be loved so badly. I want someone to help me figure out who I am and how I can have a happier life and be happy with who I am. SOS. Please keep this anonymous.