I remember being so excited for my first year of college to start and to meet my new roommate. Sadly I was one of those girls who thought we were going to be best friends and do everything together. For the first few months that is how we were. We were best friends. We did everything together from late night Walmart trips to getting each other soup when we were sick. I remember going through sorority recruitment and everyone being so shocked that I got along with my roommate. I also remember my friends who went to KU having so much trouble with their roommates. I remember thinking that I was the luckiest girl in the world for having such a great roommate. Well as time through the semester passed I started growing closer with some other girls who I had met through my roommate. We all became super close really fast. I started noticing that my roommate would make fun of one of my friends about her race and I knew that what she was saying was not right but I decided to be quiet because I wanted my roommate and I to keep our close knit relationship. After seeing my roommate bully one of my friends, me and my friends decided it was time to take action so we decided we would talk to her and one of her friends who also made fun of my friend. We knew that confronting them was not going to be easy but we were adults now so we thought what we were doing was super mature. We thought the chat went pretty well, but that weekend we found out the complete opposite happened.
It was Halloween weekend and I was getting ready to go out with some of my sisters. I heard a knock on my door and thought it must be one of my sisters who were just early. It turned out to be one of my friends from the confrontation saying that my RA needed to see me and that she was meeting with the other girl from us that had confronted my roommate. I walk up to the lobby of my hall to see my friend crying and very upset. I am immediately terrified. I don’t know what is going on. My RA calls me over after she is finished chatting with my friend. My RA informs me that my roommate’s parents have called her and told her that their daughter was crying and saying we were the ones bullying their daughter. I could not believe what I was hearing. My roommate had lied to her parents. When I was just trying to help a friend I was now getting blamed for something I did not do. My RA explained that I and my roommate would have mediation later that weekend. I remember leaving the meeting furious and upset. Why would my roommate lie to her parents? Luckily my sorority sisters were really supportive of me that night and it really helped calm my nerves.
My roommate and I had our mediation which I personally felt was pointless because everything we discussed my roommate would lie and it would upset me. I would scream at her asking her why she was lying and to stop, but she would never even look at me in the eyes. After a nightmare of mediation I could not believe I was expected to go back and sleep in the same room as this person. I went to my sorority house in tears, crying to my sisters about how I couldn’t believe my awesome roommate who I had been bragging about a month earlier had turned into this horrible person. My sisters were so awesome and said that I could spend the night in the house. I am so glad I had them there during this time in my life because it went into an even bigger downward spiral after that night.
I went to check my mail after class the next day and I had a letter from Washburn. I opened it and read that I was being charged with breaking of student conduct code for supposedly harassing and bullying my roommate. I could not believe what I was reading. I was being told that I was going to have to present my case to the head of residential living. I remember running to my RA’s room and banging on the door screaming and crying. She opened the door and told me how sorry she was that this was happing to me. She explained to me that my roommates parents had not been satisfied with our mediation and had called the school and demanded they take action. The next month of my life was hell. I became very depressed, my grades dropped, I stopped going to classes and I was terrified to even talk with my roommate. Instead of living in my room I slept on the floor of my sorority, which people find crazy but there was no way I was going back to that room. I remember lying to my parents on a daily basis and telling them everything was great when really all wanted to do was drop out of school and move back home, but my parents did not raise a quitter. So I went to my hearings and presented my case and tried to prove that I was innocent of my charges. After one extremely long month I was found not guilty of my charges. I remember crying on the floor of the LLC and all my friends, RA and sisters hugging me. My torture was finally over and I was free. I ended up getting a new room all to myself. I eventually told my parents what had happened. They were madder at the school than anyone else for putting me through that and not telling them. As time passed I slowly started to become less depressed and back to my normal self. I will always look back at this time as a dark time in my life but also a learning experience.