Dear Abner

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on Friday, February 20, 1959.

Dear Abner,

I am a music major. I like music. In fact, there’s nothing I like better than to listen to good music, especially Ferlin Husky. Well anyway, here’s my problem: I got this record, a Husky soprano aria, and took it per to the Music Listening room in the Union the other night. All I wanted to do was listen to the music and I thought I was being quite logical in going to the Music Listening Room. Well anyway, when I walked in the room was dark and, before I could get to the light switch, some girl grabbed my hand and said, “Oh, Harry, I was afraid you’d never get here!”

The problem is that my name is Jack, and I have now fallen in love with this girl. I take my Husky soprano aria, “Imobile,” to the Music Listening Room every night now. Abner, how can I ever tell this girl that I’m not Harry?”

Dear HARRY:

I would suggest YOU show up at the Music Listening Room tonighter

Abner

Dear Abner:

My problem is driving me to drink so much coffee at the Union that I can’t sleep nights. My girl, Ethel, promised to meet me each evening in Clubroom “B” at the Union. Each night, I show up but Ethel isn’t there. I have a funny feeling that all is not as it should be. Can you give me any advice?

Harry

Dear ETHEL:

Check your appointment book.

Abner

Dear Abner:

I am an attractive girl of 20 and everything of importance is as it should be. I have a boyfriend who shares a coming interest in music. In fact, we both simply love Ferlin Husky. Each evening we meet in the Music Listening Room over at the Union and listen (sometimes.) My problem seems very strange to me. He is such a nice boy, but he doesn’t talk much. And he won’t even take me downstairs for a Coke. In fact, he won’t walk me down to the door when we leave. Instead, he insists that I leave first, rather than both of us going out together. Still he whipsers that he loves me, and I’m sure he does. I hope you can advise me how I can get him to talk more and to take me out, especially where there are lights. I haven’t seen Harry in simple ages.

Ethel

Dear JACK:

I hope I have answered your question. If not, please don’t bother to write me again as I am leaving immediately for an extended vacation in Mexico.

Abner