Breaking up is hard to do

Francie Riley

?Whitney slithered slowly across the room, avoiding the piles of dirty clothes and discarded sacks of fast food. She knew she shouldn’t be there, she hadn’t been invited. In fact, Jeff had broken up with her. His last comment to her kept ringing in her ears like an alarm clock that wanted to be turned off.

?”Take a hike! Get it?”

?He didn’t really mean it was over, she thought to herself.

?His home was a mess, which meant he was distraught about the unfortunate breakup. She was sure of it.

?She ramsacked his drawers, digging deep into his personal belongings.

?There’s got to be a clue somewhere.

?She heard the faint sound in the distance of the garage door opening.

?Oh Crap!

?Stepping quickly through the clutter, she exited through the front door and sprinted down the street. She had been clever; she’d parked her car so he wouldn’t see it. After all, this was sort of a reconnaissance mission. She opened her purse but her remote was missing. The blood drained from her face, she felt light headed and dizzy.

?My keys.

?She grabbed her cell phone and called Marcella.

?The Queen always knows what to do. Marcella was a kind and considerate Queen.

?Although she was self ordained, her court of friends respected her and knew she always knew how to handle relationships problems. Her years of experience with men had given her wisdom and insight into how men think and why they behave the way they do.

?”Whitney, what are you doing at Jeff’s house?”

?Marcella didn’t wait for an answer for she knew it would be a foolish one.

?”I’ll pick you up,” but Marcella knew Whitney would be busted once Jeff found the remote.

?Marcella thought about all her friends and how they turned into mindless idiots when men were involved.

?Do men turn our brains to mush?

?It was then the idea was born. Marcella had a strong sense of the ironic and knew it was time to mark this moment with recognition of Whitney’s slip in judgment.

?Marcella bravely forfeited the Queen’s tiara to Whitney and crowned her in honor of her foolish behavior.

?From that day forward, each time men turned her friends’ brains to mush, a dubious honor was bestowed upon them. The coronation of the tiara was born and the legend began.

?Whitney wore her tiara proudly but she knew Marcella would get the tiara back someday soon.

?It wasn’t enough for Whitney to know it was over, she needed to know why. When she asked Jeff, he didn’t really tell her the truth. Maybe he didn’t want to hurt her feelings or maybe he didn’t want the confrontation. He might not have known why. He just wanted out of the relationship. But Whitney wanted to discuss and analyze the reason to try to resolve it in her mind. The truth was, it didn’t really matter. Understanding why he left wouldn’t bring him back.

?Whitney romanticized Jeff when he broke up with her. She remembered what she adored about him, and forgot about all the times he forgot to call when he said he would.

?She decided to analyze her own behavior and look at what part her behavior played in the problems in the relationship. She looked at how she could change for the next relationship.

?Whitney made a list of everything she disliked about Jeff and decided what qualities to look for in the next guy.

?The fact was, it was over. She had a pity-party with her friends and another comment rang in her ears. The one her friend Marcella said.

?”When a guy dumps me I just say…next.”