Nontrad take on student conduct

Paul Goebel

Washburn has a diverse student body and this makes for some interesting actions and interactions. Now that we’ve all returned to campus, there are a few things we need to discuss that will help us all get along and have a pleasant experience on campus. I’ve divided us into traditional and non-traditional students, which is traditional!

First, let’s go over the dress code. How you define dressed might be what’s debatable. For you trads and nontrads, here are some basic guidelines.

Men – be sure you can keep the saggy-baggies pulled up! We’ve all seen the dude in the big shorts with the crotch somewhere south of his shoe tops. This may be breaking some type of safety or sanitation rules. If you like the biker look, go easy on the chains to the wallet OK? For the nontrads, bib overalls are NOT cool…or Bermuda shorts with black socks and wingtips. For denims, go with western-style jeans or dungarees. If you wear shorts, you can’t have that motel tan!

In footwear, I like the Jordans just fine, but moldy, broke down flip-flops belong at the beach not the dining area. If you gotta’ go sockless, choose new thongs (yes, that is what flip-flops are really called), or some nice Tevas. The lizard skin, silver-toed boots might be right at the Electric Cowboy, but if you have REAL work ropers in decent shape, those are cool with the jeans, OK? You more mature men, where DID you find those Dr. Scholl’s Velcro walking shoes? Try a nice pair of Rockports or Nikes instead.

I’m a hat guy, but can we call an upside-down visor a hat? Dude, put it on backwards but not inverted! Since when does a Bosox or Royals cap come in pink or camo? Go with the team’s ACTUAL colors! You older dudes, the seed cap may be good at the auction barn, but why not a CLEAN Ichabods cap?

OK, so the fairer sex thinks they don’t need any pointers, right? WRONG! So, let’s see what the ladies are doing right and wrong.

You trads are really looking hot this fall…maybe a little TOO hot? When the entire outfit’s material adds up to square inches, it may not be appropriate for the educational setting. Assuredly college men of all ages enjoy the scenery, but when a coed’s clothing shocks the Hooter’s girls, it’s time to dress more tastefully. How about capris and a nice top with a hint of midriff or a skirt wider than a belt with a tee that doesn’t say “Juicy” across the chest? And you mature women, the same times TEN! If you’ve got WAY too much, please don’t flaunt it!

You young ladies live in flip-flops; that’s OK, if they are clean and aren’t covered with daisies or big sequins. The mules may be best for a night at the club but not freshman comp. Don’t forget that hair and make up colors and application should be real-world, not MTV or Vegas show girl! If you are older than 40, try tasteful not tragic!

Enough of the style, already! Let’s go over where all this meets the road; the classroom. We’ve all had an older student in class with too many opinions that aren’t relevant to the topic, era or planet! If you remember the last four wars, don’t recount them to the class every session, OK? Hey, I’m well-passed the legal drinking age, but I want to hear my classmates and professor’s opinions too! For the youngsters, and you know who you are, non-stop texting, surfing Facebook or snoring during the session are just plain rude. If you want to “stay connected” go to the Union or library.

So now that we all know the guidelines, let’s get out there and study hard, respect each other, and most of all, have fun! And one last thing; they call them backpacks for a reason; if it’s on wheels, and you’re towing it, it AIN’T a backpack!