Although the polls are closed, it seems that a post-election lecture is still appropriate. This morning my mom called to remind me to vote because I forgot my absentee ballot. That lady is dedicated to our civil rights, because she drove the forty minutes from my hometown to take me to a voting site and drove me back.

 

Not everyone’s mothers are so dedicated. The point is, had I not this mother, I would probably not have voted.

Since I did, I feel morally superior to most of my compatriots, who did not vote. All of them had “valid” college kid excuses for not voting, but most of these excuses can be shot down rather quickly:

 

• My vote doesn’t count (I am not from Kansas)

This one is outrageous because, firstly, the last governor was a democrat. Secondly, of course your vote won’t count if you don’t actually vote.

 

• I don’t know where to vote

You can go to your state’s web page, type in the address where you sent your registration from, and find out where it’s at. Generally the voting site will not change from election to election, so if you found it once, you can do it again.

 

• I am not registered in Topeka, and it’s too far away to vote where I am registered

This is not a valid excuse because all you do is go to a public office in your home county, like the library, and get an application for an absentee ballot. You fill it out, mail it in, and in a week or so they send a ballot to you. This won’t work if you are being extremely lazy.

 

• I don’t know the issues or candidates

Google them. Not hard.

 

• I think all of the candidates are *expletives*

You may be right. However, this has been the case since the invention of the politician in Rome. Many people circumvent this by voting for what they assume is “the lesser of two evils,” or by utilizing the write-in boxes. I have voted for my non-political brother-in-law a time or two in this scenario.

 

• I don’t have time/ I slept in/ I don’t care

Alright, this is the bottom of the barrel. If you don’t care, then the next time you complain about taxes, health care, the cost of living, the governor’s haircut, Hollywood, or anything remotely related to politics at all, please remind yourself that any issues in the system are, in part, your fault.

 

The only good excuses to not vote are: the register’s office lost your absentee ballot, you are under 18, you live in a country in which you are not allowed to vote, you are being held prisoner, or you are one of those other unfortunate citizens that the government denies from voting (people in prison, or people with mental illness).

In review (pun intended), learn your lesson, next election please vote or forfeit your complaining rights.