Ask Raz – Issue 24

QUESTION: My roommate snores so loudly I want to ask her to sleep at her boyfriend’s house. We sleep in different rooms but I can hear her anyway. Also, the other night she came home trashed and made a huge mess and knocked over stuff and hasn’t cleaned it up yet. What do I do with the roommate from hell?

 

ANSWER: Roommates are sticky situations. When you’re in college, you can get stuck with all kinds of people. The most obvious advice I have for you is to actually TELL your roommate that things aren’t exactly “as you’d envisioned.” It could be just that she doesn’t realize her behavior. A lot of times when people are first in college, they go a little crazy with the freedom. Not to mention the fact that she probably doesn’t know she snores (as most people are too polite to tell you). Not subtle way: hand her a box of “BREATHE RIGHT” strips. Close your door at night. Play soft music or get a fan for “white noise.” Make a joke out of it, but try not to hurt her feelings. 

As for the rest of it, I never advise people to be passive aggressive. If you do, that will set the tone for the rest of your friendship. If this is the only time she’s come home wasted and makes a ruckus then simply chat with her about it and be a good friend. You never know, you might come home equally as out of it one of these days and you probably don’t want her jumping down your throat. 

However, if this is a regular thing, there are other things to consider. One, if you guys live in dorms and not off campus, there are options. Two, a lot of times colleges enable you to change dorms at the end of the semester (some even require it) depending upon the university. 

That said, if it’s really unbearable right now, the best thing you can possibly do is TELL THE TRUTH. It’s amazing how many times we avoid straight conversation out of fear of looking bad or making the other person angry. That does absolutely no good. If the two of you are going to be stuck together for the rest of the year, getting in actual communication now might save you both a lot of grief later. 

Of course she might get upset with you: she might be reacting to the fact that she’s embarrassed that she sounds like a freight train at night. She also might be mindful of your feelings and curb her behavior. Either way, at least you’d be getting good sleep.