Friend Fatima: Getting out there

If you would like Fatima’s advice, visit to send it anonymously. Look for this column every week for your answer or go online to to find your answer.

If you would like Fatima’s advice, visit to send it anonymously, or email it to [email protected] Look for this column every week for your anwser or go online to to find your anwser there.

Q: This spring I want to put myself out there more but I’m not quite sure how to. I’m tired of doing the same thing with the same people but I’m too scared to take a leap. Any advice?

 A: It’s good that you acknowledge the fact that you’re scared to do something, but now you want to do it. That, to me, means you are indeed ready for a change. It also shows that you know what you need to work on; you just need a little push to do it. 

The easiest way to put yourself out there is changing up your “norm.” If you’re not ready to meet new friends, start by doing something different with the people you usually hang out with. And don’t use the excuse “there’s not much to do here” because I’ve lived here almost my whole life and I’m still finding new things to do. 

One thing I like to do with my friends is take them random places they wouldn’t expect, like swinging at a park in the middle of the night or going on a walk somewhere we’ve never been. You don’t have to do something loud or under the influence to have a crazy time. You can also challenge yourself to eat somewhere you and your friends haven’t been before because you’re too scared to eat outside of your usual places. But if you do have the mindset, or you honestly can’t find anything to do, then go to Lawrence or Manhattan and switch it up in a new town. 

If, however, you’re looking for a complete change of atmosphere, my advice to you would be to join something you find interesting. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a part of something on campus, though that would probably be the easiest. It can be anything such as joining a gym, finding an organization to volunteer at or even attending a class in an area that interests you such as a cooking class, which they have in the Fairlawn Plaza, or classes at the Public Library. There are many different organizations you can be involved with both on and off campus and it’s the perfect way to not only meet people but also be a part of something that interests you. 

I think I speak for most people when I say that after a while, doing the same things over and over just gets so monotonous. We’re humans and even though we don’t want to admit it, we need change every now and then. Stop holding yourself back in fear of yourself and just get out there. If you don’t take that first leap you’ll forever feel like you’re trapped in a life that is not your own. There’s nothing wrong with change to make your life more exciting, so figure out what is holding you back, get rid of it and start living the life you want to be living.